Fast forward parenting

I know, I know... some of you who are parents are just going to roll your eyes at this whole blog... you'll say something like, "wow, tell us something we don't know."

As you probably know (if you don't go back to about the second blog that I ever posted and read), Pam and I have been learning parenting on the fly for the past 15 months, roughly. For the most part, it has been an adventure of joy and fulfillment. Yup, we've had some issues to "deal" with, but for the most part, this is has been the most incredible journey of my life.

But there are days.... (Hold on, this is gonna get messy!)

I was bragging earlier today about what a great kid this certain 17 yr old is... and he is. But I should have known better than to start spouting off. Where does the attitude come from? I'm sure I wasn't like that as a 17 year old... (Wonder if my mom reads my blog....). Anyway, I feel such a huge responsibility to do everything I can to make sure Ben is prepared for adulthood. I talk when I feel like I need to talk, and I try every day to model the things that I think are so crucial for him. And yet, days like today, I wonder if he is getting anything....
Then, as I sat down at the computer to check some blogs that I regularly follow, I read an entry from a pastor that I have a huge amount of respect for talk about fear, and how we are to stand against it.

To quote a friend, "shablam." I really am just a dumb sheep. I need to talk about stuff that needs to be talked about... and I need to model those things as best as I possibly can. I need to show how consequences are a part of life. And I always need to be honest. But I also MUST rely on MY FATHER, and the work of the Holy Spirit to work in Ben's life. I'm not God. And I cannot live in fear for his future.

I don't know how long I will have this much influence on him, and I must be a good steward of the time that I have. But I also know that as much as I love him, God loves him more. And, whether I like it or not, Ben is approaching that time in his life that he is going to be held accountable more and more for his actions (and inaction).

This "fast forward" parenting process has been hard... and it's been rewarding. And I wouldn't trade it for anything...

Recovery complete

Ok, I've been back from India for 5 days, and I think the recovery is complete.  But wow, what an experience.  I still want to post some additional pictures, but I've got to get them from my peeps who went with me.  Anyway, I'm sleeping through the night, and that is huge.

It's a good think I recovered quickly, 'cuz this week has been crazy.  I've been in the XPastor mode, high gear every day.  I'll admit, most of it I really like.  This staff (at RCC) is amazing, and I love it when I see them growing and moving to the next level.   Now, if I can just get myself back in to some reading.  I don't know what that has suddenly become a challenge when I've enjoyed it so much for years.

The weekend should be the final step of re-entry for me.  Pam and Ben will be on the ski trip, so I'll be baching it at home.  Pam is doing the cooking for the group, and I'm sure Ben will be burning up the slopes on a snowboard.  I just hope he (and everyone else) makes it back with nothing broken - spoken like a non-skier!

Keep looking for India pix, and I'll keep trying to overcome my tech issues....

Happy New Year

Well, here we are.. 01/01/09. It even looks odd to see it in print. Today is the day that we all make plans for the new year; plans to get out of debt, loose weight, simplify our lives, etc, etc. And then in a week or so, we'll look back and wonder how things could get out of hand, again, so easily.

I've decided to take a slightly different approach this year. Yeah, I'm like many of you... Definitely need to loose some around the middle, definitely need to find some traction financially in these tough economic times. But, I've decided that I want 2009 to the year of open eyes. The past two years have been "reactionary" a little bit. We've battled cancer, taken on the role of parents, and continued to explore life in a VERY young church. This year, I want to be even more aware of the opportunities that God gives me, and then be faithful to respond.

At the same time, I also know that I can't get caught up in the business trap that is so easy for Christians to fall prey to. Busy does not equal Godly... so I guess that brings me back to balance. Am I rambling?

Anyway, I'm excited about the opportunities. I'm excited about seeing RCC take another step towards maturity. I'm excited to travel to India and see the Holy Spirit do what ONLY He can do in a place that is so dark. I'm excited to see another church that RCC will partner with begin to take root in Fargo, ND. And I'm excited to see how my family will continue to morph and develop.

I'm looking forward to a great year... and I hope that you are as well.

Merry Christmas Eve!

It's a different Christmas for us. We usually travel to Knoxville for a few days before Christmas and stay through till Pam's birthday. That gives us about a week to chill, unwind, see family, etc... etc. Because of a couple of reasons, we are actually traveling twice this year. I wont bore you with the details, so keep reading.

What this has meant for us, and for our families, is change. No one, and I mean, no one, likes change. It always makes us a little uncomfortable. But for me, this change has been good. It's given us more time to think, and be thankful. It's given us a fresh perspective.

Last night, when Pam, Ben and I sat down for our traditional "night before we leave for Knoxville Shrimp dinner" (we've done that for 15 years!), everything seemed a little new. And hey, isn't that the point? Christmas, celebrating the birth of Christ, should make everything feel new. He brings new life, new choices, new opportunities... new birth.

So, whether you find yourself knee deep in Christmas tradition, surrounded by family, laughs, and noise, or maybe in a more quiet, reflective situation... remember, it's Christmas... celebrate the new, and don't be afraid to do it in a new way.

Merry Christmas from Eddie, Pam and Ben!

Christmas: from good to ....

Ok, we are almost through with the first week of December.  Everybody ok?  Everyone still breathing?  

It's almost funny (almost) how we simply get sucked in to this almost carnival craziness that our culture calls christmas.... yes, with a little "c" because it's not the way it should be.  

We've been decorating the house, doing some shopping, making plans for the rest of the month, and trying to keep "normal" life going.  Wow, I'm already exhausted.  

My friend, Kyle Goen, Exec. Pastor at FBC Smyrna, introduced a concept to me several years ago that has been so incredibly helpful since rocking my world originally.  This whole notion of good being the enemy of great can be applied to all areas of life.  I realize this is not really the place to discuss the philosophy of G2G, but I did want to comment on its application to Christmas.  

There are so many things that we can be involved in this time of the year.  And, most of them are good... few of them are great.  The challenge, both for me and for all of us, is to decide what is best.  What is best for us personally?  What is best for our family?  What is best the Kingdom purpose that we've all been called to?  We have to intentionally ask ourselves those questions or we will begin to spin out of control just adding "stuff" to our already busy schedule.  I talked with someone yesterday who sounded absolutely exasperated because of all that "they had to do."  Maybe one of the best things we can do is say "no."  It doesn't sound very "Christmasy"  but it might be best.  

So, I'm going to finish my Americano, take a final look at my "6 by 6" list for the next 10 days (we'll talk about that later), and get busy.  I'm going to say no today... maybe more than once.  I don't want just a good day.

Shut up and listen

I had lunch with one of our Group Life leaders yesterday.  I love the opportunity to set down, especially over coffee or lunch, and just chat.  Sometimes it's about family matters, sometimes leadership principles, and sometimes important things like UT football.  I think this leader and I covered just about all of the above.  It was the second such meeting that I've had this week, and I have several more scheduled for next week.

One of the things that we talked about was how important it is to listen to people.  Listen to what they say, and, as importantly, to what they don't say.  This leader is far wiser than I, but it was a great reminder of this simple skill.

Whether you are a leader in your family, in your church, small group, or business, maybe the best thing you could do for your organization, is just shut up and listen.  In the crazy culture that we live in, it will be a breath of fresh air to the person across from you... 

shhhhhhh... just listen

Resources for families

This past Sunday, RCC completed a month long series on the family.  We really believed that God was leading us to address some family issues that continue to plague our community (most communities, actually).  Pastor Ridley did a great job every week of encouraging and equipping us to deal with issues that really ring with the complexities of everyday family life.  Below is a list of resources that we felt would be beneficial to anyone who is a part of a family.... pretty much all of us.  Obviously, the first place to start is with scripture.  Knowing The Word and practicing its teachings will take each of us a long way down the road to more healthy families.

The Five Love Languages by Chapman

Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman

Five Love Languages of Teenagers by Chapman

Building Better Families by Kelly

The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Lencioni

Teaching Your Children How to Pray by Osborne

To Own a Dragon by Miller

Bringing Up Boys by Dobson

Wild at Heart by Eldridge

This is not an exhaustive list.  In fact, should you choose read read any or all of these books, you will undoubtedly read some things that you don't fully agree with.  That's ok... just be open to the Holy Spirit's promptings to look at your family and your role in it in a slightly different light.