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I know, I know... some of you who are parents are just going to roll your eyes at this whole blog... you'll say something like, "wow, tell us something we don't know."
As you probably know (if you don't go back to about the second blog that I ever posted and read), Pam and I have been learning parenting on the fly for the past 15 months, roughly. For the most part, it has been an adventure of joy and fulfillment. Yup, we've had some issues to "deal" with, but for the most part, this is has been the most incredible journey of my life.
But there are days.... (Hold on, this is gonna get messy!)
I was bragging earlier today about what a great kid this certain 17 yr old is... and he is. But I should have known better than to start spouting off. Where does the attitude come from? I'm sure I wasn't like that as a 17 year old... (Wonder if my mom reads my blog....). Anyway, I feel such a huge responsibility to do everything I can to make sure Ben is prepared for adulthood. I talk when I feel like I need to talk, and I try every day to model the things that I think are so crucial for him. And yet, days like today, I wonder if he is getting anything....
Then, as I sat down at the computer to check some blogs that I regularly follow, I read an entry from a pastor that I have a huge amount of respect for talk about fear, and how we are to stand against it.
To quote a friend, "shablam." I really am just a dumb sheep. I need to talk about stuff that needs to be talked about... and I need to model those things as best as I possibly can. I need to show how consequences are a part of life. And I always need to be honest. But I also MUST rely on MY FATHER, and the work of the Holy Spirit to work in Ben's life. I'm not God. And I cannot live in fear for his future.
I don't know how long I will have this much influence on him, and I must be a good steward of the time that I have. But I also know that as much as I love him, God loves him more. And, whether I like it or not, Ben is approaching that time in his life that he is going to be held accountable more and more for his actions (and inaction).
This "fast forward" parenting process has been hard... and it's been rewarding. And I wouldn't trade it for anything...
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1 comment:
You have learned what many parents would struggle to learn over their child's 17 years in 15 months time. You just don't get the joy of having raised four exactly the same, and have all four forge their own paths - sometimes much to their parents chagrin! But you're right - it's the greatest job in the world!
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